


The Pain of Living

by castlealbion



Category: Dunkirk (2017) RPF, Jack Lowden - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 18:17:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12238137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castlealbion/pseuds/castlealbion
Summary: You have just received the worst news you could have gotten and Jack happens to be on hand to take care of you in your shock.





	The Pain of Living

**Author's Note:**

> I lost both my sister and my dad in the last 2 years and each time it absolutely wrecked me. I couldn't help but picture Jack when I was writing this imagine.

Tears pricked behind your eyes as you picked up your drink with shaking hands. Your third in half an hour. You were in shock, you knew that on some level but you couldn't process the full idea of it. Your phone sat on the bar in front of you, the screen lighting up every few moments with messages from people just hearing the news. You couldn’t bring yourself to care. The noise of the restaurant had faded to a muffled white noise, as though you were under water. You didn't notice anything around you, least of all the table in the corner where several young men were sharing looks of concern as they watched you.

You gulped the whiskey, feeling the burn down your throat and into your stomach, pulling you back into semi awareness just as your coworker rushed into the room.

“Y/N, there you are. You aren't picking up your phone.”

You simply looked at her, not speaking a word.

“Bloody hell,” she gasped at the sight of you. “Your mom called, she told me what happened. I'm so sorry hon.”

Your face contorted in various ways as you attempted to hold in your emotions. Another shot of whiskey was placed in front of you and you downed it, relishing the impending numbness it would bring.

“Sweetie, maybe no more ok.” she gestured for the bartender to cut you off. “You’re going to need a clear head.”

You shot her a baleful look and were met with concern in hers.

It was like a dam broke and you felt everything rush through the opening at once. In a moment her arms were around you as you sobbed against her shoulder. It didn't matter that you were in public, or that the handsome blonde man had bolted out of his seat the instant you’d uttered your first sob. All you felt in that moment was pain, so much pain that you couldn’t breathe.

“Wha happened?” he spoke softly over your shoulder.

“Her best friend was killed.”

Your sobs became louder and ragged at her verbal confirmation of what you still couldn't understand.

“We need tae get her out of here.”

“She's not going to be walking anywhere Jack, that's for sure.”

“I got it.”

You felt her gently pull your head off her shoulder, turning your stool to face him where he crouched beside you.

“Hey lass, do ya see me?”

You nodded, choking back sobs as your eyes met his.

“Good girl.” he smiled softly, reaching up to brush hair from your face. “Why don’ ye take ye somewhere quiet?”

Again you nodded, not really comprehending his words, just comforted by by the sound of his voice. He always that affect on you, whether deep in conversation or him simply giving you his lunch order.

The alcohol was really beginning to kick in and you felt warm all over as Jack helped you stand long enough to sling an arm under your knees. Too far gone to care that Jack Lowden was carrying you bridal style out of a public place, you burrowed your head into the warmth of his jumper, closing your eyes and allowing the tears to fall silently.

“She shouldna be alone.”

“I have to be at work at 5am but I can stay with her.”

“Nae, I dinnae have tae be on set tomorrow, I’ll keep her wi me. Ye get some sleep.”

“Thanks, she doesn't have to be in tomorrow, they know what's going on.”

Through the haze you felt Jack shuffle you in his arms as he swiped the key to his room.

“Come on now ye wee lump, let's get ye sorted.”

He put you down gently on the bed where you sat silently as he shuffled about the room. You opened your eyes to see him kneeling on the floor in front of you, a glass of water and several white pills in his hand.

“Aspirin, fer yer hangover.” he pressed the glass into your hand, watching as you swallowed the pills before putting the glass on the bedside table. He had a damp flannel and your eyes fluttered shut as he used it to wipe the tears from your face, one hand gently holding the back of your head so it didn't move. Somewhere in the back of your mind you remembered putting on makeup that morning, hoping he would pay a little extra attention. You had to look a complete fright by now.

“I cannae ken why ye would wan tae slap this shite on a face as pretty as yers.” he mumbled as he finished with the cloth.

He didn't seem to require a response from you as he went to a dresser and pulled out a tshirt.

“I'm no tryin anything funny, ye ken?”

Another nod as he bent down, removing your shoes and socks.

“Arms up.”

Of their own accord your arms fluttered up above your head. Jack leaned over you, fingers grasping the hem of your shirt as he swiftly pulled it over your head. You sat, arms raised, wearing only your bra and it didn't even occur to you to be self conscious about it. He pulled his shirt down over your head, studiously averting his gaze away from your near naked torso. The soft fabric fell around you smelling so completely of Jack that you knew you never wanted to take it off.

“Up wi ye, come on lass.”

He helped you to your feet, blue eyes roaming over your face as his fingers slipped under his shirt to unbutton your jeans. His eyes never left your face as he pushed them down your legs, fingers gliding over your skin gently before he stood up in front of you again, reaching past you to tug back the thick comforter on his bed.

“Ge in love.” he murmured.

You obeyed, like a robot, on some level knowing that tomorrow was going to bring with it the additional pain of knowing that Jack had undressed you and put you to bed like a child.

“I’ll be ri back.”

You burrowed under the blankets, smelling him on the pillows, the warmth seeping through the numbness. You were so tired, so heavy, but your eyes refused to close. You knew what you would see if you did close them. With them open you could see Jack as he exited the bathroom, pulling a tshirt on over pyjama pants, feet bare and hair all mussed up.

“Scooch love, yer on me side o the bed.” he chuckled softly as he slid under the covers beside you.

Your back was to him and you felt the mattress dip as he moved behind you, one arm sliding under your neck, the other around your waist. His breath ghosted over your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back. His body cradled yours from head to toe with his warmth radiating into you. He felt comforting and safe and your breath hitched.

“Can ye tell me wha’ happened?”

“Car accident, drunk driver.” you whispered, remembering how your mum had made sure you knew she hadn't felt a thing.

Somehow that knowledge didn't make you feel any better.

“I'm so sorry, I really am darlin.” his arms squeezed around you, head resting on your neck.

You felt tears welling again and did nothing to stop them, even as they fell on the bare skin of his arm.

“She was my best friend, the only person on this Earth who knew everything about me.”

God it felt like your heart was being torn apart. The knowledge that she was gone was too painful to even describe. Sobs rose in your throat again, ripped from the wound in your chest. Jack turned you in his arms until your face was buried in his chest, fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt.

“Oh lass, it hurts mae heart tae see ye like this.” his voice was rough as he held you tightly.

For the longest time you stayed like that, him holding you as you cried, his hands rubbing back and forth over your shoulders, soothing and calming until you felt as though you could breathe again. The fog began to clear and you could feel the wetness of his shirt beneath your cheek.

“I'm sorry.” you whispered, pulling away from his chest.

“Dinna worry lass.” he sat up to pull the shirt off before flopping down on his back, tucking you snugly against his side.

Using his knuckles he brushed away stray tears from under your eyes before settling your head under his chin, fingers stroking yours where they splayed across his stomach.

“Do ye wanna talk about it at all?”

“I should, I know, but I don't know if I can.”

“I could ask ye a question and if ye feel up tae answering ye can. Does tha sound ok?”

“Ok.”

“Righ then, how long was she yer best friend?”

“Since we were 15.”

“How did ye meet?”

“My first day at a new school. I was feeling alone, didn't know a soul. She came around a corner saying she would kill someone for a Mars bar. I had two in my bag. We were inseparable from that moment on?”

He chuckled under his breath. “Trust ye to bond wi someone over chocolate.”

“We went to the same uni, got our first flat together, we did everything as a unit. Her husband always says that he married both of us. She was the one who wanted me to come here and work this summer.”

“Friends like tha are hard tae find.”

You sighed, closing your eyes against his shoulder. His fingers were stroking your hair back from your face. Your whole body felt unbelievably heavy, your soul weary.

“The thing is, she was the only person who really knew me, good and bad. She didn't care either way.”

“She loved ye unconditionally.”

“Yeah.”

You were drifting away now, cocooned in the arms of a man who made your heart skip every day. A man who your friend had begged you to make eyes at.

Barely conscious, your body relaxed against Jack’s in that final moment before sleep claimed you.

“Whoever is ever going to love me like that now?” you murmured, falling into blessed oblivion.

Pressing his lips to your hair Jack whispered when he was sure you were out.

“I will, love. I will.”


End file.
